The Good Life

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill & destroy; I came that they may have life and more abundantly.”

I’ve recently had to really examine what an abundant life means for me. For years my life has been church, work and home. I have friends and we talk to each other and spend time with each other but there was still something missing. I would watch people from church throw themselves parties to celebrate their life or get married after being at church for a short time and I would be happy for them but sad at the same time. Why couldn’t those things happen for me?
All of my life I’ve felt less than and unimportant. I always wanted to stay in the background and hidden from sight. It was safe and comfortable for me but it was extremely lonely. I started exploring sex at an early age because then I was able to be the person I wanted to be-confidant and strong. I felt like I was in control and that it was the only time I had a voice. I became bold and started to only think of myself. I messed up friendships and missed out on healthy relationships because of it. But even in all of that I was still lonely.

It took me moving to California and yet another unhealthy relationship to realize that I was searching for something. One Friday I was sitting at the bus stop and saw a flyer for church. I picked it up wondering exactly where the church was but once I got on the bus I didn’t give it another thought. The next day there was a knock on my door. It was a few of the women from the church on the flyer. We talked for a few minutes and I found out the church was literally right around the corner from where I was living.  Sunday morning I walked into the church and in the back I listened to the preacher, broke down and gave my life to Jesus. He’d been knocking on my heart since I was in junior high school and it was time to stop running away and answer Him.  

But even after that I still struggled with sex and how I viewed myself. I moved back home to Minnesota and fell into a routine. I met someone and because I so desperately wanted what other people had-someone to love me-I forced something that I should have walked away from. I wasted almost 10 years of my life trying to hold onto the wrong man because I didn’t think I deserved better. But it wasn’t just the relationship. I didn’t think that I deserved a better life.

The first three months of my life was spent in the hospital fighting to survive. I was born prematurely with a condition called Gastroschisis which means my intestines were on the outside of my body. I’ve grown up to be a relatively healthy individual but somewhere in my mind I developed the thought that I was lucky to just be alive so I shouldn’t expect to have a good life.

That’s not how God wants us to live. We are all put on this earth for a purpose greater than ourselves. By not understanding how important I am I allowed many years of my life to be wasted. I don’t know exactly where this journey will put me or why it’s taken me this long to realize my worth but I trust that this is the time for me to speak boldly. Our lives were not given for us to sit back and be satisfied with the status quo. God personally breathed life into us and created us for fellowship with Him and with others.

Everyone’s abundant life will manifest itself differently in the physical. Your abundant life could be a house full of happy children; the job of your dreams; speaking up for those you don’t have a voice. Whatever it is I am confident that none of it could be possible without Jesus.

Don’t let your abundant life slip through your hands. No matter where you are or who you are God has a plan for you. Stand up and take back your life.

What's In A Name?

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But is that really true. I used to watch a show called "How Do I Look?". The premise of the show was to take individuals and perform a clothing intervention. Usually it was performed on women who felt their choice of dress was just fine even though everyone else in their lives were telling them they needed to change. Not their personality just how they dressed. I remember one episode in particular where a young lady wanted to open a non-profit to help teenage girls in trouble. Her choice of dress included a short, short mini-skirt, and a lingerie top. She was given the opportunity to present her idea to a group of potential investors, they couldn't see her but they could hear her. Everyone in the room wanted to give her money. They were enthusiastic about her idea and wanted to help her... until they saw her.

Once they saw her their perception of who she was changed. They no longer saw her as someone trustworthy. Nothing about her passion for the girls changed. Her voice didn't change and neither did her personality. The only difference was now they could see her. Every day people are placing labels and their own agendas on us. And every day whether we acknowledge it or not, we allow it to happen. Even in the bible there were labels placed on women. The woman brought to the feet of Jesus was called an adulterer but let's not forget that she wasn't in bed alone. Joseph was afraid of how Mary would be received because she was pregnant and not yet married.

Labels are a part of our world but what labels are we taking on? Powerful, talented, strong, empowered. Those are the labels we should wear proudly and with honor like a badge of courage but instead we wear labels such as weak, timid, restrained, thoughtless. Each day we walk into our physical closet and pick out our clothes for the day. We do the same thing in our emotional closet but we do it without really knowing. It's not a conscience effort. And we try our best to hide it. But it shows.

It shows in how we walk down the street. It shows in how we carry on a conversation. It shows by the company we choose to keep. And it shows in the decisions that we make. People will go out of their way to buy brand names because of the association to that brand. It makes them feel good to say they own a PS2 or a pair of Jordan's. Are people going out of their way to associate themselves with you?

Does your label have your signature or the signature of others? I had to realize that my label was the signature of others. I've allowed someone else to design, shape, sew and create my label. But not anymore. My label will forever say "Melissa Holley-Child Of God. Through Him All Things Are Possible".

What will yours say?

Going, Going Gone... What's Your Price?

Luke 12:7 “Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, you are more valuable than many sparrows.”

Anyone that has ever watched the show Sex and the City know that its premise is to chronicle the four leading ladies as they search for love.  Admittedly it is one of my favorite shows but there were always situations where one of the women compromised who she was to get or keep a man.  All too often this is the case for women not living in a fictional T.V. show.

The scripture referenced above is found in Luke chapter 12 which talks about God’s concern and love for us.   So many times we lose sight of God’s concern in our search for “Mr. Right”-which by the way doesn’t exist.  There will always be something we have to compromise on – height, age – but we should never compromise so much we lose our self-respect.  Being alone is not fun…trust me I know; but it’s better to be lonely than to be in a relationship that is unhealthy, demeaning, and spirit-breaking.  And how sad would it be to be in a relationship and still be alone?

Take a few minutes each day to remember your worth. You should never settle for less than what you deserve.

Welcome

One of my favorite songs is "Encourage Yourself" by Donald Lawrence. When things seem out of sync in my life and talking to someone isn't the answer I think about that song and I encourage myself through God's word.

The idea for this blog came to me out of that song and out of my desire to encourage others; specifically women. There are so many images of women where we are portrayed as vindictive and back-stabbing but that is not a true representation of who we are.

My desire is to give voice to the woman that values sisterhood, treasures friendships and cultivates love through my experiences and observations. I hope you'll find this informational, entertaining but most importantly inspirational.

Thank you for reading.

Melissa Holley