Comfort Zone

What are you afraid of or what makes you uncomfortable? Is it spiders? Is it heights? Or is it doing something out of character? Some people are afraid of public speaking but for me I've always been afraid of walking into a social event by myself not knowing a soul. That could have something to do with the fact that I'm an introvert who prefers to spend a Friday evening at home in a book or watching movies but last Friday I was determined not to sit at home. I went to hear someone that I've admired for quite sometime speak at a church I've never been to before and I went by myself.

Now that may not sound like a big deal but for me that was huge. Other than shopping or going to the movies I can count on one hand the times I've attended an event where I didn't know someone. I've always found some reason why I couldn't attend. I even missed a friend's wedding because of that fear but I am determined to not let that fear control me any longer.

Attending that event last Friday and even writing this blog are steps needed for me to continue down the path that God has for me regardless of what that path is. I don't know how many people will read this or why I should be doing things on my own but I do know that this is a time of preparation. Moses fled Egypt and lived with his wife and family while God prepared him to speak with Pharaoh. The apostles and many others waited in a room for the arrival of the Holy Spirit.

Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt into the land God promised them and the apostles were responsible for the birth an rapid growth of the early church and while I don't think God's plan for me measure's up to Moses or the apostles I do believe that no matter what He's got planned it's important that I allow Him to move me out of the nice comfortable life I've always known. Scary isn't it?   

What do you choose?

Picture this...you wake up on a lovely Tuesday morning and as you start to get ready for work-turn on some music, turn on the shower, start brushing your teeth as the shower warms up-BAM! the power goes out. What do you do?

Well if you're me you instantly start checking to see if it's confined to the one room or if the whole house is affected. Once you realize it is the entire house you start freaking out in your mind because your car is stuck in your garage. Then you frantically call your parents for help getting your garage door open and as you're waiting for the phone call back saying they are on their way you remember that you have co-workers that live near you and you call one of them for a ride.

Yes that was the start of my day yesterday. Thankfully the power came on before my ride arrived and I was able to get my car out of the garage but that was just the beginning. Upon arriving for work most of the day was spent dealing with power outages in the building that affected not only our computers but the air conditioning as well. I will admit it was a trying day however as with every day I had a choice to make. I could look at the situation negatively or I could look at the situation positively knowing that either outlook was going to affect my day. I chose the positive.

Please know that I struggle with this every day, every hour, every minute, every second because it's so natural for me to complain and focus on the bad instead of the good but I try to remind myself that God's word calls for us to be beacons of light (Matthew 5:14-16) and I can't possibly be that if I'm surrounded by darkness (Ephesians 5:7-14).

So my question to you is this...would you rather live in the dark, dank, unfulfilled negative space or live in the beautiful, glorious space filled with light and hope? What do you choose?

Who do you love?

I recently saw an old Facebook video from December 2014 that Tyrese Gibson posted where he talked about love and marriage. He brought up a lot of good points but the one thing he said that got me to thinking was "do I love you more than I know you?". I have to admit I had to scratch my head on that one because most people jump into marriage based on the idea that they don't want to be lonely without really spending time getting to know each other and that's where he was going with that question but I had to challenge myself to dig a little deeper.

Do I love you more than I know and love myself?

Let's paint the scene-two people meet, date, fall in love and decide to live live together as husband and wife. They stand in front of the preacher and pronounce to their friends, family and God that they promise to be together until death do they part. Fast forward 10 years and now they are sitting in front of a judge at separate tables in a courtroom fighting over children, money, houses waiting for the final decree of divorce to be filed. What happened? Did they see things about the other person they never knew were there? Or is it that they never spent enough time with themselves to learn who they are and to love who they are?

Over and over again the bible talks about knowing and loving yourself through God's eyes. The woman at the well experienced that when she talked with Jesus and saw that even through her multiple husband's Jesus saw her as someone to be valued and He forgave her sins. (John 4:9-29) Joseph showed it when he held onto the dream that God had given him. (Genesis 37-50) Both the woman at the well and Joseph, while getting to know themselves, spent time with God. The danger with not spending time with God, not knowing who we are and not loving who we are is that we lose ourselves in trying to please others. I know because that was me a few months ago. My thought process was if I did what I thought people wanted that would be showing love but I wasn't happy because my love wasn't genuine. It was guarded and I thought it was keeping me protected but that wasn't God's love. God's love is not guarded; it is bold and honest and true.

So as you sit here reading this think about the relationships in your life-family, friends, church, etc., and ask yourself this question... Am I loving you more than I know and love myself?

       

Hello Again

I started this blog three years ago a few months after I lost my job. I felt lost and didn't know what I was going to do so I did the one thing that was in my control-lean into God and ask Him what I should do. It's important to me that I try to live a life that is pleasing to Him and that includes using the gifts He has given me to give Him glory. With that said, this will be the first of many blogs written and hopefully through laughter and Gods word I can encourage as least one person to keep holding on. Thanks for reading and I wish you God's peace. 

Plug In

I recently started reading "A Jewel In His Crown" by Priscilla Shirer. She tells a story about a woman who purchased the best refrigerator money can buy, stacked it full of food but because she never plugged it in the refrigerator didn't work. Priscilla Shirer was talking about spending money to make ourselves look good on the outside

Sometime ago my Pastor at church talked about something similar. We can't expect the lights to work in the church if we never turn on the switch. Pastor Bowen was talking about accessing God's power in your life.

Both analogies got me thinking about how much we miss out on trying to be fake or by not calling on Jesus. God's desire is that our lives glorify Him. How can we do that if we can't be honest with the one who created us? Are we afraid He will find out we aren't perfect? Here's the thing: He already knows. He's just waiting for us to realize that.

The beauty of God is that He doesn't need us to be perfect to use us. Jonah wasn't perfect but he was still called to speak God's word to a nation. Moses wasn't perfect but he was used to free God's chosen people from Egyptian rule. David wasn't perfect but through his bloodline Jesus was born.

The Pharisees thought they were perfect but they missed the blessing of having Jesus' wisdom directly impact their lives and they were never used to do God's work.

So ask yourself this: are you going to live a life filled with perfection or a life filled with Jesus? 

What about your friends?

I Peter 4:12-16
¹² Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; ¹³ but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. ¹⁴ If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.^[a] On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. ¹⁵ But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters. ¹⁶ Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter.^[b]

One of the recent messages by the Assistant Pastor at church was about being with Jesus. He talked about how we are known by the company we keep, in this case Jesus and how we are involved in things based on our associations. One particular part of his message struck a chord with me-the idea that we shouldn't be surprised when we go through things. Yes they will affect us simply because they occur but they shouldn't shake our foundation.

It got me to thinking about some of the situations I've come up against recently. Situations that seemed very critical to me while I was in them but I've come to realize that they were learning situations brought about because of my association with Jesus. I allowed those situations to take control of me instead of me taking control of the situation.

This message has opened my eyes to how I should handle what I go through. I've always known that some situations that come about are because Jesus wants to test how close we are to Him but now I'll try not to be shaken to the core when things come up against me. I may not always succeed but striving for the mark is always better than not trying at all.

The Good Life

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill & destroy; I came that they may have life and more abundantly.”

I’ve recently had to really examine what an abundant life means for me. For years my life has been church, work and home. I have friends and we talk to each other and spend time with each other but there was still something missing. I would watch people from church throw themselves parties to celebrate their life or get married after being at church for a short time and I would be happy for them but sad at the same time. Why couldn’t those things happen for me?
All of my life I’ve felt less than and unimportant. I always wanted to stay in the background and hidden from sight. It was safe and comfortable for me but it was extremely lonely. I started exploring sex at an early age because then I was able to be the person I wanted to be-confidant and strong. I felt like I was in control and that it was the only time I had a voice. I became bold and started to only think of myself. I messed up friendships and missed out on healthy relationships because of it. But even in all of that I was still lonely.

It took me moving to California and yet another unhealthy relationship to realize that I was searching for something. One Friday I was sitting at the bus stop and saw a flyer for church. I picked it up wondering exactly where the church was but once I got on the bus I didn’t give it another thought. The next day there was a knock on my door. It was a few of the women from the church on the flyer. We talked for a few minutes and I found out the church was literally right around the corner from where I was living.  Sunday morning I walked into the church and in the back I listened to the preacher, broke down and gave my life to Jesus. He’d been knocking on my heart since I was in junior high school and it was time to stop running away and answer Him.  

But even after that I still struggled with sex and how I viewed myself. I moved back home to Minnesota and fell into a routine. I met someone and because I so desperately wanted what other people had-someone to love me-I forced something that I should have walked away from. I wasted almost 10 years of my life trying to hold onto the wrong man because I didn’t think I deserved better. But it wasn’t just the relationship. I didn’t think that I deserved a better life.

The first three months of my life was spent in the hospital fighting to survive. I was born prematurely with a condition called Gastroschisis which means my intestines were on the outside of my body. I’ve grown up to be a relatively healthy individual but somewhere in my mind I developed the thought that I was lucky to just be alive so I shouldn’t expect to have a good life.

That’s not how God wants us to live. We are all put on this earth for a purpose greater than ourselves. By not understanding how important I am I allowed many years of my life to be wasted. I don’t know exactly where this journey will put me or why it’s taken me this long to realize my worth but I trust that this is the time for me to speak boldly. Our lives were not given for us to sit back and be satisfied with the status quo. God personally breathed life into us and created us for fellowship with Him and with others.

Everyone’s abundant life will manifest itself differently in the physical. Your abundant life could be a house full of happy children; the job of your dreams; speaking up for those you don’t have a voice. Whatever it is I am confident that none of it could be possible without Jesus.

Don’t let your abundant life slip through your hands. No matter where you are or who you are God has a plan for you. Stand up and take back your life.