What Doesn't Kill You

I was watching Dateline the other day and they featured a story about a woman who was murdered outside her front door. The stress of the investigation was too much for her brother to handle and a year after her death he committed suicide. Six months after that her daughter was killed in a car accident the night before her high school graduation. As I watched this story my heart broke for all that the family had to endure-three deaths in one family within 2 years. I can't begin to imagine how they must have felt. The sorrow, the sadness, the questions they must have had as to why it was happening to them.

But then I remembered God's word and I thanked Him that His word is always true. He said he would never put more on us than we could bear (1 Corinthians 10:13) and that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). No matter what we are facing we have to believe God at His word and draw on that to get us through our hard times. God's yoke is easy and His burden is light but we make things more difficult on ourselves by internalizing how we're feeling and holding on to hatred, bitterness, anger, despair instead of leaning on God.

This entire family could have given up in the face of tragedies so close together but they didn't allow it to consume them. The matriarch of the family stated that the person that killed their daughter may have taken her from them but he will never take the essence of who they are. Now I don't know if they are Christians but I do know that they have hope and that they are stronger for what they've endured.

Sometimes during our trials we feel as if no one understands us and that the pain is too much for us to bear but if we hold onto God's word He has promised to go through it with us. As I look back over my life and think about choices I've made that I felt were out of my character, the consequences as a result of those and the feeling of wanting to give up I remember turning to the both the book of Job and the 23rd Psalms to help me refocus and regain perspective but most of all I regained my hope.

The entire book of Job shows us how to endure when we suffer loss of family, health, material things and the 23rd Psalms tells how God will lead us through no matter what. I was able to turn to the Bible for my strength.

Where do you turn for your strength? 

Are You a Missing Person?

Help me, help me! I've lost her!

Ma'am who did you lose?

Please just help me find her!

I can't help you until I know who you've lost.

I've lost me!

A very dear friend of mine recently started a five week workshop focusing on becoming a better you and on the second week she talked about finding the "her" that you are meant to be. That got me to thinking about a lot of things but in particular it got to me thinking about being a missing person.

100% of the population focuses on someone in the past that was taken or lost but I wanted to focus on a different aspect...what about the missing person in the future? The person that God called you to be that will never be found because of fear, anxiety, worry, guilt...chains of bondage. So often we are stuck in a situation not because we want to be but because our minds are so chained up we don't know any better. We stay in jobs that are no longer providing us what we need. We stay in relationships or friendships because we don't want to be alone. We stay at churches because it's the one we grew up in even though our time of growth has come to an end.

God's plan does not include for us to stay dormant and stagnant in a church, job, relationship and even a place of residence. God's plan is to constantly move us higher and closer to Him to create a level of dependence so deep with Him that to move without Him seems unnatural. Sometimes, as I learned tonight, we will lose people we were once close with and things we once thought were important in our search to find our missing person.

The missing person that God placed deep down in your spirit just waiting to be found. The missing person that will occasionally pop her head out for sunshine but we are so oblivious to who she is we don't recognize her. The missing person that is that voice crying out in the wilderness (Apostle John). The missing person that is standing alone in a desert waiting for rain (Noah). The missing person speaking up for a nation even though it may cost them their life (Moses and Esther).

No it won't be easy. Yes you may feel alone. Yes you will cry out to God "why me" but at the end of your journey you will shout "THANK YOU JESUS I HAVE FOUND MY MISSING PERSON-I HAVE FOUND ME."

What I've Learned

I'm sitting here at my computer thinking about all of the things that have happened in my life-things that were out of my control and things that were in my control and I realized that through all of it the one constant that was always there, excluding myself, has been God.

Today I came one step closer to realizing a dream that I've had and prayed about for years. I have a scar on my stomach that has been there since birth and I've wanted it removed for as long as I can remember. I know some people may say that it's no big deal and that I've lived it with this long why can't I continue living with it but it's not about the scar itself-it's about what the scar represents. I've always looked at this scar as a reminder of how different I was from others and it made me feel as if I wasn't as good as others. I looked at it as a curse trying to do things to compensate for what I felt was a hindrance to me.

But that was the problem, I was trying to compensate instead of looking to God for my direction and confidence. I truly believe that it's because of how I viewed the scar & myself that God didn't allow the door to open for me to have this removed before. Over the last few years I've gotten closer to God and allowed Him to change my view of myself. I have a better understanding that my worth is not made up of how nice my clothes are or how put together my hair and make-up is. My worth is made of up of the love of God and how I live everyday to show that love.

I've also thought about the Apostle Paul and how he talked about how he asked God to take away a pain he had but God reminded him that his grace was enough to endure whatever pain he had. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). He also said that he's learned to be content in whatever state he's in. (Philippians 4:11-12). And if anyone has a right to make both of those statements it's Paul. He went through a lot. First he hunted down Christians and sought to kill them but when he met Jesus he turned his life completely around and he became the hunted. But even during his time of unbelief God still cared for him. I thank God that even though I didn't see it at the time His grace was there to help me day by day and I thank God that I realized it before it was too late.

I truly believe that this surgery will happen but above all that I believe that no matter what happens God is in control and no matter what He has my best interest at heart. That alone is enough. How about you?

Comfort Zone

What are you afraid of or what makes you uncomfortable? Is it spiders? Is it heights? Or is it doing something out of character? Some people are afraid of public speaking but for me I've always been afraid of walking into a social event by myself not knowing a soul. That could have something to do with the fact that I'm an introvert who prefers to spend a Friday evening at home in a book or watching movies but last Friday I was determined not to sit at home. I went to hear someone that I've admired for quite sometime speak at a church I've never been to before and I went by myself.

Now that may not sound like a big deal but for me that was huge. Other than shopping or going to the movies I can count on one hand the times I've attended an event where I didn't know someone. I've always found some reason why I couldn't attend. I even missed a friend's wedding because of that fear but I am determined to not let that fear control me any longer.

Attending that event last Friday and even writing this blog are steps needed for me to continue down the path that God has for me regardless of what that path is. I don't know how many people will read this or why I should be doing things on my own but I do know that this is a time of preparation. Moses fled Egypt and lived with his wife and family while God prepared him to speak with Pharaoh. The apostles and many others waited in a room for the arrival of the Holy Spirit.

Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt into the land God promised them and the apostles were responsible for the birth an rapid growth of the early church and while I don't think God's plan for me measure's up to Moses or the apostles I do believe that no matter what He's got planned it's important that I allow Him to move me out of the nice comfortable life I've always known. Scary isn't it?   

What do you choose?

Picture this...you wake up on a lovely Tuesday morning and as you start to get ready for work-turn on some music, turn on the shower, start brushing your teeth as the shower warms up-BAM! the power goes out. What do you do?

Well if you're me you instantly start checking to see if it's confined to the one room or if the whole house is affected. Once you realize it is the entire house you start freaking out in your mind because your car is stuck in your garage. Then you frantically call your parents for help getting your garage door open and as you're waiting for the phone call back saying they are on their way you remember that you have co-workers that live near you and you call one of them for a ride.

Yes that was the start of my day yesterday. Thankfully the power came on before my ride arrived and I was able to get my car out of the garage but that was just the beginning. Upon arriving for work most of the day was spent dealing with power outages in the building that affected not only our computers but the air conditioning as well. I will admit it was a trying day however as with every day I had a choice to make. I could look at the situation negatively or I could look at the situation positively knowing that either outlook was going to affect my day. I chose the positive.

Please know that I struggle with this every day, every hour, every minute, every second because it's so natural for me to complain and focus on the bad instead of the good but I try to remind myself that God's word calls for us to be beacons of light (Matthew 5:14-16) and I can't possibly be that if I'm surrounded by darkness (Ephesians 5:7-14).

So my question to you is this...would you rather live in the dark, dank, unfulfilled negative space or live in the beautiful, glorious space filled with light and hope? What do you choose?

Who do you love?

I recently saw an old Facebook video from December 2014 that Tyrese Gibson posted where he talked about love and marriage. He brought up a lot of good points but the one thing he said that got me to thinking was "do I love you more than I know you?". I have to admit I had to scratch my head on that one because most people jump into marriage based on the idea that they don't want to be lonely without really spending time getting to know each other and that's where he was going with that question but I had to challenge myself to dig a little deeper.

Do I love you more than I know and love myself?

Let's paint the scene-two people meet, date, fall in love and decide to live live together as husband and wife. They stand in front of the preacher and pronounce to their friends, family and God that they promise to be together until death do they part. Fast forward 10 years and now they are sitting in front of a judge at separate tables in a courtroom fighting over children, money, houses waiting for the final decree of divorce to be filed. What happened? Did they see things about the other person they never knew were there? Or is it that they never spent enough time with themselves to learn who they are and to love who they are?

Over and over again the bible talks about knowing and loving yourself through God's eyes. The woman at the well experienced that when she talked with Jesus and saw that even through her multiple husband's Jesus saw her as someone to be valued and He forgave her sins. (John 4:9-29) Joseph showed it when he held onto the dream that God had given him. (Genesis 37-50) Both the woman at the well and Joseph, while getting to know themselves, spent time with God. The danger with not spending time with God, not knowing who we are and not loving who we are is that we lose ourselves in trying to please others. I know because that was me a few months ago. My thought process was if I did what I thought people wanted that would be showing love but I wasn't happy because my love wasn't genuine. It was guarded and I thought it was keeping me protected but that wasn't God's love. God's love is not guarded; it is bold and honest and true.

So as you sit here reading this think about the relationships in your life-family, friends, church, etc., and ask yourself this question... Am I loving you more than I know and love myself?

       

Hello Again

I started this blog three years ago a few months after I lost my job. I felt lost and didn't know what I was going to do so I did the one thing that was in my control-lean into God and ask Him what I should do. It's important to me that I try to live a life that is pleasing to Him and that includes using the gifts He has given me to give Him glory. With that said, this will be the first of many blogs written and hopefully through laughter and Gods word I can encourage as least one person to keep holding on. Thanks for reading and I wish you God's peace.